Probably Always

During my last couple of sessions, my therapist has reminded me of how well I have been processing the many losses I've experienced this past year, especially the loss of my life in China. She said that I will probably always feel a tinge of sadness when I eat foods I used to eat there, talk about China or look through old pictures. I can learn to move through and past the hurt and grief, but some of it will probably always be with me.

However, the more I've processed through all of this I've realized that I will also probably always get excited when I hear someone speak Chinese. I will probably always feel contentment when I listen to Chinese music or eat some of my favorite snacks from China. I will probably always feel great joy when I get opportunities to share with others about China and my time there. I will probably always be proud of the Chinese I've learned and that I am still able to use some of it when communicating with friends there or even to teach some Chinese to those around me. I will probably always tell my future children about how incredible God is and how much better His plans are for our lives than our own.

I will probably always deeply cherish my time in China, the people I met, the places I traveled, the experiences I've had, and the lessons I've learned. Hopefully always.