What Good Are Tears?

I lay in bed

Tears silently streaming across my face

I wipe them away

But not before they could leave their mark on my pillow

Reminding me of their presence

I flip my pillow over

Hoping the tears are done

They have no place here

Because, no matter how many tears I cry...

Tears won’t make the sadness disappear

Tears won’t bring me back to China

Tears won’t put my life back together again

Tears won’t fill this gaping hole inside me

Tears won’t reunite me with friends, coworkers, or students

Tears won’t let my hold my cat again

Tears won’t remind me to keep my hands up while I’m sparring with my Krav Maga partner

Tears won’t bring me my favorite noodle dish as I gaze at the mountains from my kitchen window

So then, what good are tears?

Tears stream down your face.

"God, why? Make it stop!"

He wipes away your tears.

"I'm not finished with you yet."

"Take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul.

He's in the waiting, He's in the waiting."

- Take Courage by Kristene Dimarco

**For updates on my cancer journey you can follow the CaringBridge page we have created to more easily share with loved ones: www.caringbridge.org/visit/noellekane